JYOU MILLIONAIRE
by lonewolfz
Summary: Jyou is forced into joining the TV show, JYOU MILLIONAIRE (aka Joe Millionaire). Taiora, Mishiro/Koumi, Takari, Kenyako


For our favourite dork!  
  
Disclaimer: We do NOT own Digimon yet. Hmmm... and we do not own the TV shows Joe Millionaire or The Bachelor either.  
  
Note: Our exams are finally over. It's vacation time but some vacation it is. Ugh. We are planning to do a spoof of the movie with Iori (Cody) as the main character. If we have the time. Damn the stupid SARS outbreak.  
  
~~  
  
Lonewolvez presents.  
  
JYOU MILLIONAIRE  
  
They think he's worth $20 million. They think he's one hot hunk, but little do they know...  
  
He ain't.  
  
He's a JYOU.  
  
He's only worth about $20 000, after all, he's just started out as a doctor. Shrouded in a dense cloud of mystery, he is constantly looming around in dark shades and a hat, as though to hide his face. Well, guess what? That's the whole point! He's not the cool dude he's made out to be by the eViL producers (A/N: us, I suppose), he's an ordinary, hard-working, nerdy, dorky workaholic.  
  
But of course... *they* don't know that do they?  
  
So anyway, there will be a few girls trying their luck and hoping to win over poor Jyou's heart, thinking that he's this rich geezer. Will true love prevail when they find out that they've been tricked? (A/N: ugh, we hope not...)  
  
~~  
  
It was a perfectly normal day. The birds were flying around in the sky and every thing was, well, normal.  
  
Said Bird #1 to Bird #2, "Hey, look at the blue-haired kid down there. I've never aimed at blue hair before. Bombs away!"  
  
*splat* went some sticky whitish stuff. It missed Jyou by only a few inches.  
  
"Ha! I can do way better!" said Bird #2. "Watch this!"  
  
*splat* went more sticky whitish stuff. Right smack in the centre of Jyou's hair.  
  
"There, told ya!"  
  
~~  
  
"AAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!"  
  
A sharp, piercing scream echoed throughout the town, followed by shrieks of, "Get it of me! Get it off me!"  
  
"Maybe Taichi spilt some water on Koushirou's laptop again... ?" mused Yamato nonchalantly in the university library.  
  
"Maybe it's Yamato screaming at some dipsomaniacal fangirls who are clinging on to him?" Taichi chuckled at the amusing thought.  
  
"It's the cherry blossom season now... I'll bet anything a sakura just landed on Taichi's head," thought Koushirou, chewing distractedly on a pencil.  
  
Then a bright idea struck them all. "Jyou! Bird shit again!"  
  
Rush  
  
"I've so gotta see this."  
  
"It's a once in a lifetime chance."  
  
"Damn. Where's my digital camera?"  
  
~~  
  
"Yay Mimi! I'm sooo happy you invited us to your house!" exclaimed Sora and Miyako and Hikari.  
  
"So what do you guys wanna do?" asked Mimi.  
  
The girls glanced at each other and exploded, "Let's watch TV! There's the last episode of The Bachelor on today!"  
  
They each broke into grins.  
  
"I'll pop the popcorn!" yelled Mimi, already running towards the kitchen.  
  
Sora thought for a moment before shrieking, "I'll buy the sodas!"  
  
Miyako watched Sora's retreating figure as she joked, "I'll get the fire extinguisher in case Mimi burns down the house!"  
  
"I'll get the Kleenex..." said Hikari.  
  
Roughly an hour later, the girls finally settled down and switched the TV on. They stared intently as the huge movie-sized screen flickered and the images appeared.  
  
Minutes ticked by as the show went on, each making the girls more and more engrossed.  
  
Several thoughts went through each of the girl's heads:  
  
~Sora~ Oh, *sigh* this is just sooo idealistic and romantic. Stuff like this never happen in the real world, especially not in Japan... *sigh* Right? But some dreams do come true, don't they? Oh, Taichi...  
  
~Mimi~ Oh my God, oh my god! What if such things really do happen? What if there really exists in this world a truly perfect guy who's rich and good looking and cool... He's SO sweeeet too. Now all he needs is red hair, like *sigh* Koushirou...  
  
~Miyako~ But, but what if she doesn't accept the rose? She wouldn't, right? Well, I wouldn't if I were her, especially if it were Ken offering it to me. *gushes*  
  
~Hikari~ *blushing* Oh, Takeru, when will you offer me THE ROSE? Why can't we do such romantic things together? Like midnight dips in the Jacuzzi and ... oh...  
  
***  
  
"No! I can't bear to see it!" shrieked Hikari shrilly, hiding her face behind a fluffy pink pillow.  
  
"Choose HER. CHOOSE HER!!" screamed Miyako pointing towards the right.  
  
[Some extremely sappy dramatic music is played here]  
  
"Yess... just choose-"  
  
"And now for a short commercial break!" said the stupid narrator.  
  
"Aww man, he was just about to pick who he really truly totally loves!" Miyako, Hikari, Sora and Mimi squeaked collectively.  
  
They glanced at the empty Kleenex box next to the sofa. "I'll get more," said Hikari as she ran off.  
  
"Hurry, Hikari! The show's coming on any moment," said Miyako in total anticipation although the commercial break had just begun.  
  
"Want to find your dream guy? Not to worry! Find out how you can do so after The Bachelor!" said the stupid narrator (probably the same one).  
  
Freeze.  
  
~~  
  
Meanwhile, back with the boys...  
  
Yamato, Taichi and Koushirou were hiding behind a pillar spying on Jyou screaming frantically.  
  
Occasional sniggers could be heard.  
  
A huge black shiny limousine pulls up suddenly. It bears a sign saying "Nippon TV". (A/N: I hope there ain't such a thing. If there is, I disclaim it. So there.) Two men dressed in black tuxedoes come out of it, and corner Jyou against the pillar which our three friends are currently hiding behind.  
  
Oh, about the pillar, it's sort of squarish and wide, big enough to obscure Yamato, Taichi and Koushirou from view.  
  
Gasps. Rather audible ones at that.  
  
One of the guys in a black tux reached behind the pillar. In a single grasp, he managed to grab all three of the boys.  
  
"Aah! Put me down, dammit!" screamed Taichi, kicking and punching at anything he could.  
  
"Ow! Taichi that hurt!" whined Koushirou lamely.  
  
"Well, what have we here? Eavesdroppers, huh? Come on, Kasami, put them in the car."  
  
It would have been a strange sight - a tall man dressed in a black suit dragging off three frantic teenagers and a short man also in black struggling to hold on to a tall blue-haired adolescent. What a very suspicious scene indeed.  
  
So, anyway, they finally got into the limo.  
  
"You're Jyou Kido, right?" asked the short guy jabbing his finger into Jyou's chest.  
  
"Uh, yeah, I guess so..." mumbled Jyou, gulping.  
  
"What are we doing here?" burst out Taichi, finding it too difficult to keep his mouth shut.  
  
"Shut up! It's Jyou we want, not you... or you... or you!" said the short guy, pointing to Taichi, Yamato and Koushirou respectively. "If you hadn't been sneakin' around spyin' on other people, you wouldn't be here right now!"  
  
"We're here!" said the driver guy, interrupting their conversation.  
  
Jyou, Yamato, Taichi and Koushirou were dragged up to the 53rd storey of some building. Once there, they were seated in pink fluffy chairs (A/N: we have this thing about fluffy pink stuff, huh?) and were told to wait quietly.  
  
"Good afternoon," came a cold female voice.  
  
Shivers went down the spines of the four young boys.  
  
"I'll just go straight to the point. You," she pointed to the trembling Jyou, "are to participate in the TV show:"Jyou Millionaire". You will be Jyou!"  
  
Blinks.  
  
"Basically, Jyou Millionaire is a show not unlike The Bachelor." The four boys grimaced. "A few young ladies try to win over this rich guy's heart, except little do they know... you're just a plain old Jyou."  
  
"I think it's a compliment," whispered Taichi to Jyou.  
  
"'Why am I chosen?' you may ask. Well, mainly because your name is Jyou, which is bad enough. The only name worse than Jyou is probably... Barney. Anyway, also, you are a homophobic, a clean freak, a geek/nerd/dork/loser. Basically, the last thing any woman would hope for. Any strong objections?"  
  
Jyou ventured, "Umm, you forgot asthmatic."  
  
"Okay, asthmatic too. Plus, you only earn a miserly $20 000 a year."  
  
"Look, woman, that's just grand, but what do you want with us?" asked Yamato, getting impatient.  
  
"Let's just say you were at the wrong place at the wrong time. Since you saw my men carrying Jyou off, you would inform someone, and we wouldn't want that now, would we? So, out of compassion, we're offering you jobs as supervisors/janitors. Do you accept my generous offer?"  
  
"What if we say no?" asked Koushirou cautiously.  
  
"That is not an option. You know too much."  
  
The boys looked crushed.  
  
~~  
  
Back to the girls...  
  
The show was finally over...  
  
Mimi, buried under tons of tissue, was barely able to hear the advertisement.  
  
"Hey, guys! I think the thing about finding your 'dream guy' is on now."  
  
Three heads popped up out of nowhere.  
  
They watched in total silence.  
  
The huge words JYOU MILLIONAIRE appeared on the TV screen.  
  
"Join today and you could have the man of your dreams. He's tall, hunky and rich! Everything a girl could ask for. Compete against other girls for him. What are you waiting for? You have nothing to lose! Auditions for places are on February the 14th at Nippon TV centre. Call 1800-111-JYOU for more details."  
  
Each of the girls was dialing for her life.  
  
* **  
  
A/N: I am going to sleep. NOW. 


End file.
